2014 in review

I’m a numbers person and I love looking at stats and graphs on wordpress. Thank you to everyone following and reading my blog for the great year.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 58 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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This Is Why Your Wife Won’t Have Sex With You

James Michael Sama

You know, it’s funny. Each day when I look at my website analytics I get an overview of some of the search terms that have brought organic traffic to my site through Google or other search engines. Often times there are phrases about what makes a good man, a good woman, making your partner feel valued, and the like.

There is an interesting consistency I also see, though: “My wife won’t have sex with me.” “Wife won’t have sex.” Or another variation of the same problem…all the time. I won’t say these searches happen every single day, but it certainly seems that way.

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Since it’s safe to assume it’s not the same man searching a variation of the same problem every day, this is clearly a widespread problem (I nearly wrote wifespread problem – Freudian slip?). Another important distinction to make is that they are not searching things like “Sexless…

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I Can’t Escape My Past

“[T]ell the story of your most recent negative experience related to … addiction.”

– Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

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Addiction to a person

is probably the most dangerous

Life threatening kind

They spin like tops

Around and around

Break the thirteenth step

Thou shalt not…

But it’s too late

How did we get like this?

Naked

Alone in our togetherness

I feed off you

And only ache with hunger

Satisfaction does not exist

As my soul collapses

in on itself – A star into a black hole

I know I am drowning

But I refuse any air

Pseudo Poverty

“Go through a day without spending any money and write about how it feels.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

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I currently work at Walmart, so today I was surrounded by merchandise and people wanting and buying. It’s really hard to keep your head of that mentality when it is all around you.

knowing

I can’t

makes wanting

worse

Relative Numbers

“Do you feel slightly ashamed of some possession because it cost so much money? Write a poem persuading a reader that you were totally justified in spending this much. Then write another poem in which you challenge your extravagance.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

Pretty Penny

Amount of money is not an issue as much as need versus want for me. Price doesn’t matter if I need an item. A cheap product can still cause me to feel guilt for purchasing it if I don’t need it.

Poem One

It was only $5

And it’s Christmastime,

And Anchorman is funny,

And I thought someone

Would bid higher.

The money went.

To the employee Christmas party.

I have money.

It’s a nice treat.

Poem Two

As soon as I saw my name

Regret rose in my stomach

Impulse bidding

In a silent auction

I don’t need this movie

I need to pay tuition

I need to buy textbooks

I need gas in my car

So guilt fills my mouth with bile

as I fish a crumpled bill from my pocket.

Photo Credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/83346641@N00/8609444344/”>JD Hancock</a> via <a href=”http://compfight.com”>Compfight</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

I’m Back!

It’s been forever! Essentially, school started and owned my life for the past few months. My goal while on winter break is to get back into the habit of posting every day. Get ready for two weeks of poetry!

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“Write about someone who does work you would never do.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

Presidents

Are mocked for their mistakes

Blamed when things go wrong

I could be a leader

I’m to smart to be president

Photo by Justin Brown

Big Head Little Arms

Today we were given a reference sheet with four boxes and four dinosaurs on it. We had to draw each of the dinosaurs in the small amount of space within the corresponding box.

 

I tackled this challenge by trying to create caricatures of each dinosaur. Caricatures are easy to identify because they highlight important or prominent features of the subject. That was what I tried to do. Let’s just say, cavemen illustrated the prehistoric beasts better than me.

 

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