2014 in review

I’m a numbers person and I love looking at stats and graphs on wordpress. Thank you to everyone following and reading my blog for the great year.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 58 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

This Is Why Your Wife Won’t Have Sex With You

JamesMSama.com

You know, it’s funny. Each day when I look at my website analytics I get an overview of some of the search terms that have brought organic traffic to my site through Google or other search engines. Often times there are phrases about what makes a good man, a good woman, making your partner feel valued, and the like.

There is an interesting consistency I also see, though: “My wife won’t have sex with me.” “Wife won’t have sex.” Or another variation of the same problem…all the time. I won’t say these searches happen every single day, but it certainly seems that way.

wonthavesex

Since it’s safe to assume it’s not the same man searching a variation of the same problem every day, this is clearly a widespread problem (I nearly wrote wifespread problem – Freudian slip?). Another important distinction to make is that they are not searching things like “Sexless…

View original post 986 more words

Sometimes I Can’t Laugh

“Read today’s New York Times, in print or online….As you read, jot down the words and phrases that make you feel emotion – sadness, anger, outrage, pity, relief, fear. Imagine the people who are affected by these events. Forget the corporations or the bills being passed through the legislature. Focus on the human story.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

 

Susan Browne wrote a poem using news headlines that is really good but haunting. My poem is based on a news story from the New York Times. I used the last quote of the story as a starting point because it stuck in my head after reading it.

 

 

We had been married for ten years

Most good and bad

The birth of each child – good

Holding the tiny, porcelain doll

I loved them

I loved my husband

Ten years capped by ten seconds

and I am left

My three children dressed in black

 

I will educate them to be for jihad.

 

My rage does not pass

It consumes and taints

Everything is poisoned

I kiss my children

and threads of rage cling

to their lips

It is my gift to them

To their father

 

I promise they will be as their father

 

Bold, strong, handsome

My love and my light

How can I survive without you?

I awake

Drown in sadness

Your absence fills my kitchen

The baby’s cries of hunger

Are also cries for you

 

to be fighters

 

They grow each day

more and more like you

In face

And nature

In fate

 

and to be martyrs.

NPR Has Ruined Me

“Think of what is happening in the life of a friend or family member or neighbor right now. The idea is to re-create what someone close to you is experiencing. You might research someone’s illness, or learn more about a city a friend is visiting. Maybe your sister is pregnant and you want to know exactly what happens during childbirth. Focus on another person’s experience, and after answering some of your own questions, try to enter that experience.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

 

Okay, I admit I didn’t take this exercise seriously but some of my latest posts have been so serious, I think this break is warranted. I started out with the intent of seriousness. My sister has been married for almost two months, so I figured I’d do a little research on the woes of being a newlywed. The second article I read was this. I realized I wanted to take some of the points and write about Disney Princesses once they reached “happily ever after.” As I started writing, I realized that I was trying to write limericks. This I blame on NPR and “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me: The NPR News Quiz.” Anyway, enjoy, and if you can guess the different princesses, leave a comment below.

 

I was dreaming of finding the one

While singing with friends having fun

It won’t fly with the guy

When with seven dwarfs I do lie

Without change Prince Charming and I will be done.

 

 

She left the ocean, her friends and her dad

When he found out he was really quite mad

Now he knows I eat fish

It’s my favorite dish

My father-in-law thinks I’m a cad

 

 

I thought being a frog would change him

Instead, things are looking quite grim

He still has his pride

And I take it in stride

But man, what a pain to forgive him.

An Expert on Things I Don’t Know

“Consider something you really don’t know about: You have no idea how you could join the conversation if this came up. Type your topic – string theory, whale migration, Norse mythology – into a search engine, find some interesting or surprising facts, and make a poem out of your new knowledge.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

 

 

 

A tiny amount

Is all it takes

For an explosion

That can rattle the house

It propels us

To destinations

Known and unknown

Behind the wheel I know

You asleep

Unaware of the tiny explosions

that move

large pieces of metal

and rubber and fabric and flesh

An internal miracle

Passing silent in the night

Questions from a Student

“Rhetorical questions…give you a way to introduce your subject; you can ask the question and then answer it. The uncertainties here won’t be in the questions themselves. You’ll have to let them give way to other surprises and mysteries.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

 

 

Why should I care

that energy is dependent on mass?

I don’t need a scientific equation,

Just go to the gym during freshman P.E.

I know it’s good for me to learn

Things I will forget before

I ever need them.

Why should I go to college

Besides to relearn everything from high school?

But there are some I will never forget

Like the resting heart rate

for a person

Is around 70 beats a minute

But when I rest with you

It’s about 120.

When will you be on my final?

Every day

Past “I do”

Can I Ask You a Question?

“In ‘The Tyger,’ Blake asks a question he can’t really answer. Begin a poem with an important question of your own that you can’t answer. Then, keep asking questions as a way to explore the topic and move the poem forward.”

-Kim Addonizio, “Ordinary Genius”

 

 

How did I get here?

Lying on the linoleum floor

Wishing for an end

Watching my attacker, lover, friend

Suck life from my veins

What am I feeling?

My body is numb.

My heart is numb.

My soul is numb.

Do I want this?

I know I asked for it

The cut that let warmth flow

Did I want his kiss?

A gift: My life borrowed and returned

A promise of more

Will it end?